December 29, 2008
Well here we are at the end of another year. I can not believe it was a year or so ago me and James got back together, decided to remarry and now we are broken up. They, they being Jenny and James were rather upset that I didn’t stay home for Christmas. I took several loads back and forth across the country. Right there is too much on mind and my heart was to heavy to enjoy Christmas. Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas but not this year. This year I just wanted to be a lone. And I was alone, there were no men even though I could had some and there was no Broken Guitar. It was just me when I wasn’t driving, I spent time sleeping or trying to write a letter to James.
Hell, I knew I would never give him the letter I just needed to get some stuff off my chest. I know I said I got over the whole Jenny and James thing but I lied. I really thought I did until I saw them together at the grocery store. I don’t know if they saw me or not. Right before I left for two weeks, I went into the market to buy a frozen pizza and a tweleve pack. And there they were holding hands, laughing kissing gently. They looked like they were in love. They looked happy.
Sure, I want them both to be happy and Jenny deserves a great man and James is a great man but did they have to wind up together. I always thought James was my soul mate but I guess not and I wonder am I destined for love? Is there someone out there for me and only me, will I find happiness. I left the store and went to the Liquid Clam for wings, darts and beer. According to some of the people at the Clam Jenny nor James comes into the bar since they were together. I guess they spend too much time fucking one another. I remember those days.
I don’t know what I feel right now, I guess a little bit of everything. I am leaving again tomorrow for another couple of weeks. I think I need to find Broken Guitar. I need him more than ever.
