August 31, 2008
We set a date for the wedding it is October 10. I am looking forward to it. The last time we got married was just a quick little eloping at the county courthouse. That day I wore white dress but nothing fancy, James wore a suit. This time we are having a real wedding. Actually he wants a real wedding more than I do. He already booked the church and the reception and I sent out the invites.
Yes, I want to marry him but dad never walked me down the aisle. And now he will never have the chance. If there was a way to turn back time who knows how today would be? I dread dress shopping. Jenny offered to make me one and I am thinking about letting her. I don’t really want to spend a lot of money on one since I will be wearing it only once. If for some reason James and I should divorce again and I remarry I would never wear the same dress once.
James suggested I invite my mom and brother. I wrote their invites out but they still sit on the kitchen table underneath a week’s worth of newspapers. He thinks I mailed them and I think I should be done with them. I saved her life when she walked out on me, I think I did my good deed for the century. Why should I invite her to my wedding? James said I need family and I said Jenny was like my sister that is all the family I need. It’s not like he has very much family.
Him and I both tumbleweeds alone and drifting and we have only each other to cross the desert. Sure it sounds terribly romantic but it is also very depressing in the same way. One day Jenny will get married and have kids and who knows about James and I if we don’t make it, or have kids then all I’m going to have are acquaintances and one night stands. Who really wants to end up like that?
